The Kiss and What Comes After
by 0gravity
Summary: Clarke finally gets it. She gets why this feels so different and so intense between them,why she and Lexa can see through each other the way no one else can and why it doesn't feel completely insane that she's in love with someone she barely just met. She gets it now. She gets all of it.
1. Chapter 1- The Kiss and What Comes After

Lexa's kissing her. She's not exactly sure how they got here – okay, that's not entirely true, it was the whispered confession of trust and the question about what they are really fighting for, survival or something more, that got them here. Now that Lexa's lips are on hers though, it's hard to remember that anything else exists. It's even harder to care.

The second their lips touch Clarke is sure she finally knows what zero-g feels like. She feels weightless and free in ways she's never experienced; not on the Ark; not in space; not with Finn; not with anyone. It's the closest thing to an out of body experience Clarke can imagine. It feels like floating and it's completely surreal. When Lexa captures her top lip once, twice, Clarks's not sure she will ever be able to get enough oxygen back into her lungs. She figures the weightlessness is due in part to the lightheadedness that Lexa's proximity and the simple contact creates and the overwhelming sense of relief and the freedom that comes with it.

They've both been holding back, they've been fighting this, this unspoken thing, between them for what feels like forever. The restraints are finally off and the guards are dropped. It's bad enough worrying about war but trying to fight this battle, this pull between them, on top of everything else has been nearly unbearable.

Pull is definitely the right word for it. The ever present and insistent tug between the two of them is as natural and as powerful as gravity. They're drawn to each other. Every atom in Clarke's body feel like it's being torn in Lexa's direction, every hour of every day; no matter where they are. Despite the fact that it has gone unspoken, it has only ever taken a look between them for Clarke to know that it's not just her that feels it. Whether they are in the war room, in the Commander's quarters or walking through camp, they always seem to find each other. Clarke starts standing closer and Lexa's eyes linger longer each time. Clark can't pinpoint exactly what changed, when it changed or how the shift occurred but she's been conscious of it for a while. They've been thrown into each others orbit and now the pull has taken over. They've been on a collision course ever since.

The Commander has fallen into a pattern of sending for Clarke when she simply just can't go any longer without seeing her. It could be two hours, four hours, or in this case, 15 minutes. Neither one of them openly acknowledges what it really is but the recognition is there. The way the energy changes every time Clarke walks into the tent, leaves no question. They both know they couldn't fight this even if they wanted to. It's inevitable. _They_ are inevitable. You can only rub frayed wires together for so long before they spark; before they ignite.

The heat radiating off Lexa's skin and the slow burn she feels spreading throughout her body is indescribable. The pressure of Lexa's mouth on hers is perfect. For as intense and aggressive as the Commander can be, the way she kisses her is altogether soft and slow and tentative and unlike anything Clarke could have ever imagined. It's firm but not forceful; pleading but never demanding.

Lexa's movements are deliberately unhurried. She wants Clarke to feel every single kiss, every pause, every traded breath, and every point of contact. She gives Clarke every opportunity to stop it, every opportunity to decide if it doesn't feel right for her; to decide if this isn't what she wants. This could have very easily been a frenzy. There's enough tension built up between the two of them that it could have been a hard, fast and chaotic battle of wills but that's not what either of them needs right now.

Lexa needs to feel Clarke return each advance, to know that this is a conscious choice for her. She needs to know with certainty that Clarke is kissing her back because she wants this and needs this as much as Lexa does and not because she's caught up in the moment, not because she's caught off guard and not because Lexa is forcing it. She also needs to show Clarke that she's capable of this; capable of putting the warrior aside; capable of being a lover. If nothing else, she needs Clarke to understand that it's Lexa kissing her, not the Commander. Right now that's a big distinction.

Any fear that Lexa had about whether or not Clarke would kiss her back is dismissed by the certainty with which Clarke matches her movements. Clarke's chin rises and her lips part to capture Lexa's bottom lip each time Lexa makes contact. Lexa feels indescribably victorious when she feels Clarke's left hand slide over her hip and rest on the small of her back. The act alone eliminates any doubt. Clarke needs this closeness, this contact, as much as she does.

Clarke understands all of the nuances that Lexa pours into the kiss. She understands that Lexa is relinquishing control, willing to take her direction, letting her drive and placing not only her trust, but her heart in Clarke's hands; knowing that it could destroy her. Lexa is willing to take the risk and Clarke loves her for it. It's the first time she truly lets herself believe that this could work, that _they_ could work.

And as much as Clarke doesn't want this to end, never wants this to stop, it's the faint press of Lexa's fingers to the back of her neck and the subtle brush of Lexa's thumb along her jaw that jars her back to reality. Confusion flashes in Lexa's eyes for a split second when she realizes the contact is gone. Clarke feels immediately guilty for stopping, for pulling back even just an inch. She just needs to know, before this goes any further, if this tenderness, this care with which Lexa is handling her is going to get the Commander killed. As much as Clarke wants this, as much as it would destroy her to give this up now, knowing everything that kiss meant, she'd still sooner die than watch the Grounders turn on Lexa because of her.

The air around them still feels supercharged; electrified. Clarke knows she needs to reassure her; to make sure Lexa understands that this pause isn't a sign of regret, that there's no question about her feelings, so she does the only thing she can think to do in the moment and laces her fingers with Lexa's and rests their foreheads together. She can feel the tension drain immediately from the Commander. They linger there, just breathing together, before Clarke swallows around the lump in her throat and gives life to her greatest fear. "Your people will never be okay with this"

Lexa pulls back just enough to meet Clarke's eyes. She needs Clarke to see, to feel and to believe what she's about to say. Somehow, she thinks that maybe she can will Clarke to feel all of that through her eyes – it always has been their best connection.

"They already know this is different." Lexa lets the words settle in the air between them before she continues. "When I agreed to negotiate; when I didn't immediately order you killed when you took Finn's life; when I trusted your faith in Bellamy, they knew. They knew this was different. That _you_ were different"

Clarke lets the words sink in. She can see it in the way Lexa's eyes soften that this is a revelation, one of Lexa's many hidden secrets. Lexa's been risking not only unrest among the Grounders but her own position as Commander and more importantly, her life, for Clarke all along, even before they were close.

Clarke shifts her gaze from beautiful, captivating eyes to the warmth of their interlaced fingers. She rubs her thumb over the soft skin of Lexa's fingers, marveling at the way that anything so soft could still exist in this place, marveling at how perfectly and effortlessly they fit together. Everything about this feels right but if Earth has taught her anything it's that getting your hopes up too much is dangerous, even deadly.

"What if they won't accept it?" It comes out as barely a whisper.

It's clear Lexa believes it's not an issue but Clarke barely knows these people and they've spent more than half that time wishing her dead. She's right to be wary. She won't be responsible for another person she cares about dying. She's seen how the Grounders handle treachery and she can't have that for Lexa. The thought alone makes her nauseous.

"They will. They must. Because you're mine" Lexa squeezes her hand, both reassuring her and pleading with her to just trust her on this. She knows it's not easy for Clarke to believe, but it can be just that simple.

"Yours? Like property?" Clarke's eyebrows knit together as she says it. She sounds like she's trying really hard not to be offended.

Lexa should have known that was coming and she has to smirk at the comment. Clarke's little defiant streak is alive and well. The thought only makes Lexa's smile wider. God, she's beautiful when she's fiery. Now Clarke's looking at her with a hint of annoyance and disapproval because she hasn't said anything and she thinks Lexa's mocking her.

"There's a lot you don't know about our customs yet, Clarke, but no, we don't claim ownership of other people." Not literally anyway. Lexa knows she'd cut off the hands of any man or woman that threatened what she has with Clarke but that's not exactly what Clarke is asking.

And now Clarke is smiling at her. Shy, blue eyes shining and her cheeks tinged with the barest hint of pink at the embarrassment of the assumption. "So, not like property then."

Lexa returns the smile in kind and simply, because she can't resist, leans in to kiss her. It's brief, barely a peck and nothing like before but the way Clarke's eyes stay closed even after she's pulled back tells Lexa that she still felt it down to her toes. That's all the reassurance she needs to continue the conversation. She knows the next few minutes are going to dictate their future and she needs this to go well. Lexa steadies herself with a breath and takes the leap. "No. Like _odakeryon._"

"Odakeryon? I haven't heard that word. What does it mean?"

Clark is genuinely curious. She's watching Lexa intently, eyes tracing the planes of her face for any indication of why the Commander seems to be hesitating right now. The scrutiny does nothing to help calm Lexa's nerves.

"Other spirit."

The way Lexa says it with a hint of apprehension gets Clarke's attention. All of a sudden and without warning a sort of tension has crept up on them. Less than a minute ago Lexa was smiling, almost playfully, and now she has her eyes locked firmly on their hands and her breathing has changed. Clarke knows that Lexa is wrestling with something, there is something going unsaid and Clarke needs to know what it is.

Clarke takes a chance and shifts forward ever so slightly. It's a delicate process, trying not to startle a cornered animal. She wordlessly brings their foreheads back together and squeezes Lexa's hand, reassuring her and silently urging her to continue. And just as before, Lexa relaxes. It's amazing the effect that Clarke has on her.

"I've known you for more lifetimes than you can imagine, Clarke."

There's a noticeable pause after the statement and Clarke isn't sure Lexa is going to continue. It takes a while, but she does.

"I don't know what the skypeople believe but my people believe that our spirits have existed since the beginning of time. The earth is constantly changing. We are constantly changing. We live and we die but death is not the end because our spirits continue on. The core of who we are never stops existing."

"Reincarnation. That's what makes you Commander." It harkens back to their conversation in the gorilla cage. A conversation they never got to finish.

"When I die, my spirit will find the next commander and the next and the next. That is my purpose as a leader. But it is not my only purpose." The statement is followed by another long pause from Lexa.

"I couldn't see it before… I didn't know… if I had, I would never have…." It seems now that Lexa has started talking, she can't stop. Her mind is running overtime, she's trying to get everything out all at once and it's getting harder for Clarke to follow. She's never heard the Commander this disjointed.

Clarke can see it in the way that Lexa's eyes dart back and forth between hers that she's not sure how to explain whatever it is she's trying to say. It's only the second time Clarke has ever seen panic in the Commander's eyes and this time Clarke doesn't have her backed against a table. Somehow though, it still feels like she's responsible.

"Didn't know what, Lexa?"

The way Clarke says it makes it clear she's being tentative. She needs Lexa to explain but she doesn't want to push too hard. Their standing flush up against each other now, so close that Clarke feels the soft exhale of Lexa's breath against her cheek.

"I didn't know until I saw you, until the day you came with your negotiation. I didn't know you then, Clarke."

It sounds like an apology and Clarke thinks she's starting to get it. Lexa is apologizing for the attack on the dropship, apologizing for the attack on her. But why now?

"It wasn't until you were standing in front of me, not until I looked into your eyes that I felt it; I knew. My spirit remembers you, Clarke. My spirit remembers you from before all of this."

It feels like a bomb has gone off inside Clarke's chest and just like when they were kissing, she's not sure she's ever going to be able to get enough oxygen back into her lungs. Her heart is in her throat and she's glad that Lexa continues because she couldn't speak right now even if she wanted to.

"One of my men, an archer, lost his leg during the battle with the Ice Nation. Our healers were able to save his life but he was never right again. Until the day his fight ended, he believed he could still feel the missing foot; that if he closed his eyes, he could still feel the Earth between his toes. Even months later, he'd swear by it."

Clarke's eyes are closed now. She's desperately trying to absorb everything Lexa is saying but the intensity of staring into those eyes, with the war paint, is just too overwhelming.

She only registers that Lexa has stopped speaking when she feels the faintest press of lips to the shell of her ear.

"I feel _YOU_, Clarke. Even when you're not here, even when I can't see you, I feel you as sure as if you were by my side. I feel you everywhere."

The last part is barely audible. If Lexa's mouth wasn't against her ear she's not sure she would have caught it.

"I can die a thousand times over and my spirit will still find you."

Clarke finally gets it. She gets why this feels so different and so intense between them, why she and Lexa can see through each other the way no one else can and why it doesn't feel completely insane that she's in love with someone she barely just met. She gets it now. She gets all of it.

"Other spirit. Soul mate." It's a statement, not a question.

Lexa slowly nods to confirm. "Soul mate."

"I think maybe it's your people, Clarke, that will never accept this." It's insecurity she wishes she didn't have but Lexa doesn't know enough about the skypeople yet to feel secure. She knows they are Clarke's family and she's honestly not sure she could win in a fight over family; even if Clarke believes her about this.

"They will. Because you're _mine._" It's the last thing Clarke says. She's done talking. She just needs to be kissing Lexa right now.

It occurs briefly to Lexa that perhaps she should have asked if skypeople claim others as property because the way Clarke just said 'mine' sounded extremely possessive. The thought actually thrills her more than anything though. She decides she'll ask later - when they're not so busy. Because right now Clarke's hands are in her hair and she just felt Clarke's tongue sweep across her bottom lip. Everything else can wait.

**A/N:**

**All errors (grammatical, punctuational or otherwise) are mine and mine alone.** **My writing skills are rusty as shit but this story just needed to get out.**


	2. Chapter 2 - Fate and Destiny

It is a bizarre thing to feel like you've known someone forever but to actually know relatively little about them. There's still so much they have to talk about and Clarke naturally has a ton of questions but all too soon duty calls. Neither one of them wants to ruin this time together with talk of war and unrest but the scheduled tactical meetings need to go ahead as planned; they still need to be ready for anything in the lead-up to Mt. Weather.

After the kiss and the conversation they'd shared earlier it had been almost unbearable to have anyone else in the Commander's quarters; even if they were high ranking _Trikru. _Lexa's tent had taken on new meaning for them, it felt like a sacred space now. This was _their _space. It was the only place now that Clarke felt safe and like she could do no wrong. Despite everything she had done, despite every choice she had made, Lexa cared for her and wanted her and needed her and all of that came to life in this room.

Having Grounders that still looked at her with distrusting eyes and who questioned her every comment and suggestion, here, in this place, at a time like this, felt wrong. It only took a shared look between them to tell Clarke that Lexa felt the same way. Lexa, to her credit, tolerated it but just barely. She had snapped at her men with more ferocity than usual when they questioned Clarke's intentions and it was clear that her patience was waning. It reminded Clarke of the meeting with Quint before he'd tried to kill her.

There was absolutely no mistake that Lexa wanted the others out and gone as soon as possible. The rest of the Grounders had looked questioningly at the Commander when she dismissed them all after such a short time but frankly if _Heda_ was not in the mood for strategizing, it would be unwise to challenge her.

In truth, Lexa's head was awash with Clarke and talk of guard-post rotation schedules and scouting missions was of no interest to her at the moment. This is what she had Generals for, surely they were capable of handling this.

It had taken everything inside of her not to make even just simple contact with Clarke in front of the others. They had made a conscious decision to stand apart for the meeting but Clark was still within arms lengths and it felt unnatural not to be touching her. She longed to feel their fingers intertwined again just to reestablish a tangible connection. Not even hours ago she had been granted the freedom to reach out and touch Clarke and now she was being denied that simple pleasure. It was making her crazy.

She knew she needed to call an end to the meeting when she couldn't stop herself from brushing a finger over Clarke's knuckles as she passes by her while moving around the table. If anyone else noticed they didn't comment on it. The likelihood of them drawing attention to it was slim. A snide remark wasn't worth risking their lives for. Lexa knew she'd have to explain it all to them sooner or later and once she did she had faith they would understand. The respect for the _odakeryon_ bond runs deep among the _Trigeda. _Right now though it still just felt too early to share this with the world. The connection that her and Clarke were forging was still new and nothing felt more important in this moment than protecting that. For now, _this, _was theirs and theirs alone.

* * *

"That was an abrupt end, Commander." Clarke leans with her back resting against the makeshift table housing the Mt. Weather model as her eyes follow Lexa around the room. The tent flaps had closed shut behind Ryder when the others left and now they were alone again.

"They offer nothing of value. My time is better spent on other endeavours." Lexa's tone is serious and the hint of annoyance she still felt from the meeting was slow to wear off. She rolls another map up and placed it back into the holding bin with the others.

Clarke can tell just by the way she speaks that this is more the Commander talking than Lexa. Now that everyone had gone, Clarke thought it would be easy to slip right back into the comfort they had around each other before but for whatever reason this feels almost like starting over. She is feeling almost timid again; uncertain how to proceed; uncertain of how Lexa wants her to proceed.

"What could be more important than planning for war, Commander?" Clarke asks it innocently, almost naievely. Clarke hoped that Lexa had ended the meeting so that they could spend more time together but now there's a hint of doubt creeping in and it seems like a valid question. Maybe there is somewhere else Lexa needs to be or something else she needs to be doing. The Commander seems distracted and tense and it makes Clarke nervous.

Lexa doesn't help Clarke's nerves with the way her darkly painted eyes bore intensely into Clarke's as she crosses the confines of the modest tent. It's times like this that Clarke is sure Lexa can see straight into her soul and it is both exhilarating and terrifying.

Lexa doesn't stop advancing until she's standing directly in front of Clarke with barely a hair's breadth between them. Clarke now knows what it feels like to be backed into a table. Turnabout is fair play apparently.

Just like that Lexa's eyes have softened considerably and any residual tension from the meeting has gone. She looks deeply into Clarke's eyes when she offers her answer. "You."

Even if she knew it was coming, nothing could have prepared Clarke for the way her heart leapt into her throat. Her Lexa was back. Her soul mate was back. It was just the two of them again.

Clarke can't help but smile shyly at her as she whispers, "There you are", almost reverently, before leaning forward to join her lips with Lexa's.

When Clarke pulls away Lexa is looking at her with furrowed brows.

Clarke simply smiles back at her and reaches out to smooth the worried indentation from between Lexa's eyes. "You were gone there for a while", Clarke clarifies.

Lexa simply nods in understanding. Separating who she is with Clarke and who she needs to be as Commander will no doubt be a challenge but she's nothing if not a fast learner.

Lexa kisses her again just because she can. Because she has been blessed with the freedom to do so and she's going to make sure she takes advantage of it before the next interruption comes.

Lexa is trying to make up for lost time and it pleases Clarke to no end. Clarke can sense the urgency in the way that Lexa kisses her. It takes very little time to go from the slow, lazy kisses they start with to the insistent, toe curling, open-mouthed kisses they finish with.

They both kiss like they are afraid the other is going to disappear. As if this is all merely a dream and if they stop to blink or even to breathe, the dream will be over and the moment will be gone and they will spend the rest of their lives begging for just a few more seconds.

Lexa can feel Clarke smile into the kiss and she understands now why she was wrong to ever think that feelings were weakness; that love was weakness. She has never felt stronger.

It's Lexa that breaks the kiss this time. They're both breathing heavy and it feels like someone turned the temperature in the tent up a couple degrees but there is no question that this is the happiest she has ever been.

Lexa is smiling at her in a relaxed way that is so rare for the Commander. Clarke has only seen Lexa genuinely smile a handful of times and she's really just caught up in the wonder of it when the words fall effortlessly from her mouth.

"I love when you do that."

Clarke's eyes widen a bit as she realizes she's just said that out loud. Real smooth Clarke, real smooth.

Lexa takes pity on her and doesn't draw attention to the fact that Clarke's cheeks are now bright pink. She just keeps on smiling that beautiful little smile she reserves only for Clarke. If the Sky Girl isn't ready to talk of love then she will wait. Just knowing that Clarke feels it is enough for right now.

Clarke knows she needs to change the conversation and quickly before she actually dies of embarrassment. She decides that now may be the time to get some of her questions answered.

"You know, that meeting reminded me a lot of the meeting with Quint. He accused me of being brave under the commander's protection. I knew all along that you'd been protecting me; that the only reason I wasn't dead was because you wouldn't allow it. I thought you were doing it for the alliance but you weren't. You were doing it for me."

It sounds like a rhetorical question and Lexa knows that Clarke already knows the answer but she confirms it anyway.

"Yes."

"You knew then that we were meant to be together but you still wanted me to leave you when Pauna attacked." Again, it's a rhetorical question but she needs Lexa to know that she is finally putting all of the pieces together. She is finally starting to understand where Lexa's heart has been this entire time.

"Nothing is more important to me than your safety, Clarke. Nothing." To emphasize her point she does what she has been longing to do, she reaches out and cups Clarke's jaw; running her thumb gently back and forth over Clarke's cheek. Clarke doesn't think she has ever been the object of such tender affection. Not even her own mother handles her with this much care.

She revels in the warmth that Lexa provides and nuzzles her face ever so slightly into Lexa's palm. Nothing in the world could be both as simple and as complex as this. She has barely scratched the surface of the connection between them and already Clarke feels like she is a wholly different person; a complete person.

"There was something you said to him in the woods, after you took the dagger out of his arm, what was it?" Clarke asks it as an afterthought. She had been curious and had meant to ask before but after the chaos of running from a feral gorilla and almost dying, it hadn't been a priority. Now though, it seemed important.

Lexa doesn't need to ask for clarification, she knows exactly what Clarke is asking and she knows why she is asking. It has nothing to do with Quint and everything to do with them.

"Attack her and you attack me."

The realization dawns on Clarke's face.

"He knew. The look on his face when you said it, it was recognition. He understood that this was more than just an alliance to you." Clarke is beginning to realize that there is probably a lot she hasn't been privy to with the way the Commander has been using _trigedasleng_ to have secret conversations with the Grounders about her.

"Yes. _Jomp em op en yu jomp ai op _is a warning among the trikru; a declaration that one will pay with their life if they threaten someone you care deeply for. You and I are one, Clarke. You are my heart and if they wish to take my heart from me then they will have to kill me first."

It chills Clarke to the bone to hear Lexa say it. She can't think of Lexa dying, not now, not never.

"Don't say that. I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere and neither are you. I need your spirit to stay where it is. I need you here; with me."

Clarke presses her hand over Lexa's heart and despite the fact that there are multiple layers of leather and cloth between her hand and Lexa's chest, she swears she can feel the heat as if the contact had been skin on skin.

Lexa's cheeks flush with colour. The rush from the contact, however innocent, was instantaneous. It's getting harder and harder to keep secrets from Clarke Griffin and having a body that betrays her in such an obvious manner isn't helping the situation.

Lexa shakes her head in disbelief and smiles despite herself. "You have no idea what you do to me, Clarke."

On the contrary, Clarke knows exactly what kind of visceral reaction the contact between them creates.

"Lexa, I feel this. Don't for one second think that I don't feel this just as much as you do. I do, and I've never felt anything like it before in my life." There's a lengthy pause before Clarke adds, "I felt it even before you told me."

This is news to Lexa and now she's waiting with bated breath to hear what Clarke is going to say next.

Clarke is hesitating and Lexa realizes it when she will no longer meet her eyes and is instead suddenly enamoured with the fray at the bottom of Lexa's shirt. Lexa doesn't say anything, she'll give Clarke all the time she needs. In the meantime though, the Commander's hands find their way to rest on Clarke's waist and Lexa brings their foreheads together. She remembers how effective the action had been at calming her when Clarke had done it. It turns out that the gesture is as comforting for Clarke as it is for Lexa and after a few deep breaths it spurs Clarke to continue.

"Do you remember the first time we touched? We were in tonDC and you handed me the torch to light the funeral pyre. My fingers grazed yours for just a second but a second was all it took. There was energy there and that's the **last** thing I should have been feeling in that moment but I couldn't help it. I knew there was something there; something I didn't fully understand."

Clarke grabs Lexa's right hand and turns her palm face up and then hovers her own hand less than an inch above it. Neither of them moves as Clarke speaks.

"Do you feel that? I'm not even touching you and it feels like there is electricity running through me... between us... but I thought it was just me. I didn't think you felt it."

Lexa definitely feels it. There is an unseen energy pouring out of Clarke's palm and into her own. It's almost like their bodies are humming at a high pitch frequency and each can feel the ripple effect radiating off the other. The transfer of energy is so intense, even without physical contact, that it is virtually indescribable. Clarke Griffin is even more under her skin than she imagined.

"No, it's not just you. It's _us_."

She can't help but look at Lexa with a sense of awe when she says things like that. He had heard the adage about "butterflies in your stomach" but never actually believed that it was a real feeling; not until today.

"So much of it makes sense now. All along I thought being sent to Earth was a punishment but it wasn't; it was the opposite. Last night, when I was worrying about the doors at Mt. Weather, you told me I was born for this. Does that mean the Grounders believe in fate as well as reincarnation?"

"We all have a destiny, Clarke. You are mine. I was born to lead my people as you were born to lead yours. I believe our paths were always meant to converge. Our destinies are intertwined. _That_ is fate."

Lexa says it with unwavering certainty, as if it's a fact, as if no other possible explanation would suffice. The crazy thing is, Clarke believes it all. Today had been nothing short of an epiphany for her.

Everything about the last few hours has felt surreal but it's also the first time in her life that she has felt like she understands exactly what her purpose is and why she's truly here. All of this; every fight; every loss; every hard choice, has all been leading her back to Lexa. Now that she has her, she has no intention of letting go. She refuses to let this slip through her fingers and she needs Lexa to know that.

"On the Ark we had a saying, 'May we meet again'. Most of my people use it as a farewell or goodbye but it actually has its roots in ancient theology. It's a kind of prayer used to ensure that people find their way back to one another; in this lifetime or the next. I don't know exactly how we got here, Lexa, but there is no doubt in my mind that _this_ is us meeting again. My soul knows that as well as yours does. _This_ is fate."


	3. Chapter 3 - Find Me When You're Wounded

It's well after midnight and she should have left hours ago but the thought of not being in Lexa's proximity right now makes her chest ache and she knows that Lexa feels it too. How is it that you're supposed to walk away when you've just found this huge piece of your heart that's been missing your entire life? It's amazing how much one day can change the entire course of your life.

Clarke knows that leaving Lexa, even just for a few hours, just until sunrise, will feel like tearing the new-found piece right back out; stitches and all. She remembers reopening the gash in her arm at Mount Weather and thinks that this would surely hurt worse. She has felt empty for so long, even long before Finn and before Earth, that she never wants to feel that again. Right now Lexa is oxygen in her lungs and her only priority is to keep on breathing.

They're sitting side by side on one of the logs placed around the fire just outside of Lexa's tent. Despite the ample amount of room on the seat, they are pressed closely together and the outside of Clarke's right thigh rests flush against Lexa's left. It's their subtle way of maintaining contact in a situation that won't allow for much more.

Lexa warms her fingers over the fire as she fills Clarke in about the history of the 12 clans and the uneasy alliance she managed to form. Clarke listens intently and watches captivated as the orange glow of the flames dance across Lexa's profile. She's beautiful, especially in warpaint, and Clarke wants nothing more than to lean over and kiss her in this moment.

Lexa knows that it's important to be out and be seen amongst the army, she needs to keep the cohesion she has with her warriors, especially after the aborted meeting earlier, but it's hard not to want to just hide from everything and everyone when Clarke looks at her the way she is now.

Sadly, however, there is no hiding in this place. Stolen moments of peace and quiet will always be interrupted and solitude never lasts long.

* * *

Clarke sees Indra approaching in the distance before she hears her call out to the Commander. There is a man with her, one she's sure she's seen before but doesn't know by name. Lexa gets up to meet them as they draw near.

The warrior appears to have burns to the left side of his face. A sweeping semi circle tattoo is barely visible over a portion of his left eye. Where the rest of the tattoo should be there is now just a mess of raw scar tissue that snakes down his cheek and over his jaw. Amazingly the injury doesn't seem to impede the man's ability to speak. Clarke notes the unnatural way his face shines in the light of Indra's torch and works out fairly quickly that it's due to some sort of topical burn treatment he has received; likely applied by her mother. The man is from TonDC.

From where she sits Clarke can see that this isn't an unexpected visit or a surprise by any means. Lexa must have known he was coming and she had been anticipating his arrival. Clarke feels a twinge of hurt that Lexa never mentioned it. She is suddenly regretting not getting up and going over to them with Lexa when they arrived.

Indra, Lexa and the man speak quickly and in hushed tones. The entire conversation is in _trigedasleng_ and they are almost out of earshot but Clarke knows without a doubt that she hears mention of TonDC and _faya_. She realizes then that the man has come to update the Commander about the village.

Lexa has only spoken about TonDC once since the night it happened and only because Clarke confronted her. Clarke is curious to see what the warrior's arrival will mean. Lexa has seemed to want to bury the memory of the missile and the destruction as much as possible. While Clarke was furious at the Commander for even thinking about killing Octavia, she realizes now that that's what it really was, it was Lexa trying to bury the memory, to bury the pain and to bury the guilt. Clarke was right, Lexa does feel for them, for all of them and the only way she can handle how much that weighs on her is to pretend like it never happened. So while Clarke feels a slight twinge of hurt over Lexa not telling her about the expected update from the village, she's beginning to understand that sometimes Lexa makes choices not necessarily to shut Clarke out but to keep the rest of the pain in.

While Lexa was wrong about love being weakness, Clarke easily understands the way that guilt can feel like weakness. When Octavia looks at her with hatred and disappointment in her eyes now, Clarke feels nothing but weak and selfish. Guilt has the ability to cripple you if you let it. Guilt has the ability to stop you in your tracks, to shut you down and to turn you from a revered Commander into an ineffectual leader. That's why she has never fully grieved for Wells or for Finn and that's why Lexa hasn't been able to talk about the missile or the village or their choices. Opening yourself up to that kind of pain and darkness can swallow you whole if you let it.

The Commander does a good job of hiding a lot from a lot of people but Clarke can see in Lexa's eyes as she walks back toward her that something inside of her is in fact broken. As much as she is trying to keep her face unreadable, Clarke sees the hint of emotion swirling under the surface in her eyes. It's the same look she had in her eyes when Clarke backed her into the table and accused her of letting the village burn without any sign of remorse.

"What did he say?" There's no point in pretending that she doesn't know that the man is from TonDC or that his arrival has something to do with the destruction.

Lexa doesn't respond and instead just gestures with her head toward her tent. She doesn't want to talk about it out here; she can't talk about it out here. She needs to retreat to the safety of the tent and she is silently asking Clarke to follow without question.

* * *

Lexa holds the tent flaps open so that Clarke can enter before she steps in herself. Once inside, Clarke walks over to the table holding the maps and begins to relight the handful of candles they had blown out before heading outside to the fire. It's an outlet for her nervous energy; it gives her hands something to do. She hopes that if she gives Lexa this quiet time, this momentary reprieve, that maybe she will begin to open up on her own.

Unfortunately, it's not quite that easy. When the last candle is lit, Clarke carefully sets it back down, rests her hip against the table, and turns in Lexa's direction. It unnerves her to see that the Commander hasn't taken much more than a step inside the door. She hasn't made any move toward Clarke and she doesn't seem to have any intention of answering Clarke's question. Lexa is keeping something from her and the space between them in this instant feels endless. Clarke hates it.

"There's something I need to tend to. I asked for an update about the village yesterday and they sent Lokan. I'm going to meet with him now to discuss the state of things in TonDC." Lexa says 'the state of things' so she doesn't have to use the words dead, dying, injured, missing and burned beyond recognition. Clarke can't decide if she does it for Clarke's benefit or for her own but it's becoming obvious that this is the Commander talking and she is only planning on telling Clarke as much as she think Clarke needs to know. Clarke feels the frustration building.

Annoyed or not, there is no chance that Clarke is letting Lexa go alone.

"I'll go with you."

"No. I won't be long. You should rest, Clarke. You haven't slept in days." It's a refusal masquerading as concern for her personal welfare and now it's become a dangerous game that the Commander is playing. If she thinks Clarke is going to back down on this, she is sadly mistaken.

Despite the progress they've made and despite the openness and the trust they're building, it's too easy for them both to fall back into the stubbornness of their strong personalities. They both believe they're right in this instance and neither wants to concede. Butting heads isn't new to them.

"No? So that's it? You're going alone… to discuss the 'state of things' and we don't even get to talk about this?" Clarke's words have a bit of bite to them and she may have said 'state of things' a tad more sarcastically than necessary just to let Lexa know she sees through the omission.

Clarke can hear in Lexa's voice that she doesn't want Clarke going with her because she's concerned about her, she's trying to protect her from this, but it doesn't excuse the way she's shutting her out. It's not really her place to be making demands about access to information at TonDC because they aren't her people but she also feels like now of all times, Lexa should at least let her be the supportive girlfriend. They're in this together; they made the choice together.

Clarke leans slightly over the table, her palms flat on the surface and forearms bearing her weight. She's trying hard not to be angry at Lexa about this but she's not doing a great job at succeeding. Clarke knows that arguing with her now is the opposite of supporting her but it just feels wrong on so many levels to let Lexa do this alone.

"I know what you're doing, Lexa. You're trying to keep me here while you handle the fallout from TonDC by yourself."

Lexa can tell that Clarke is exasperated with her but it's more frustration than genuine anger. She chances it and walks over to where Clarke is standing and puts her hand down next to Clarke's on the table and then ever so gently runs her index finger over the length of Clarke's pinky. It's a tentative touch and Lexa isn't sure if Clarke is going to let her get away with it or if she's going to pull back. Thankfully, Clarke doesn't move.

Lexa isn't asking to do this alone to hurt Clarke and she thinks that somehow deep down, Clarke knows that too.

"The only place I keep you is in my heart. The guilt you bear is a heavy burden, Clarke."

"And yours isn't? You're not immune to the pain or the guilt, Lexa. You forget that I see through you. The heartless Commander routine doesn't work on me any more… it never did."

"No. It never did."

Clarke barely catches the sad smile out the corner of her eye before it vanishes from Lexa's face.

"I feel for them. I mourn for them but that doesn't mean I'd chose differently. It was the only choice to be made, Clarke. You were the only choice and I have no room for regret."

Lexa's voice wavers ever so slightly with emotion as she says it. Clarke isn't sure who the Commander is really trying to convince; Clarke or herself. What goes unsaid and what troubles Clarke the most is the fact that Lexa thinks that if she could, Clarke would go back and choose differently - that maybe Clarke would have chosen not to come to her first; maybe Clarke would have taken a chance on telling everyone; maybe Clarke would have fought harder to stop Lexa from leaving and maybe she wouldn't have followed her into the woods at all; maybe she wouldn't have chosen Lexa. More than anything it breaks Clarke's heart. The seed of doubt and uncertainty in Lexa was planted by Clarke and she has no one to blame but herself.

"I know. There was no time, Lexa. If we had stayed, if we had warned them, we wouldn't be here. I know that now. I've gone over it in my head a thousand times, and as much as I wish things could have been different, there is no scenario in which we could have gotten everyone out alive. We didn't have the time. You made the right call and while I regret that any of it happened, I don't regret our choice."

Clarke takes a deep breath and braces for the apology that is actually long overdue. A big part of the guilt that Lexa has been feeling has been because of her and she needs to repair some of that damage.

Just because Lexa has always had conviction about the decision they made doesn't mean it was an easy choice and it doesn't mean that it didn't come at a cost. Clarke is just now realizing that the toll it took on Lexa is greater than anyone could have imagined. She remembers perfectly the night that Finn died and the way that Lexa had looked at her when she told her, "what you did tonight will haunt you until the end of your days". Clarke didn't understand then that Lexa was all too familiar with that feeling. Lexa carries more guilt than anyone and has to spend more energy than anyone trying to cover it up.

"I'm sorry for making you feel like there was any other choice. I'm sorry for making you out to be the bad guy when you made the decision that needed to be made… when I couldn't. I'm sorry I put you in that position in the first place, I just didn't know what to do and you were the person I ran to. You were wrong about wanting to kill Octavia but I never should have used your guilt over Gustus and Costia and the people of TonDC to make you see that. You blame yourself enough. You sacrificed your people for me and my friends the night of the missile and I can't imagine how hard that was for you. I know that it was painful; it still is painful. I can see it in your eyes and you didn't need me to add to that. It wasn't fair."

Lexa hadn't realized how much she needed to hear Clarke say that. She had never been looking for an apology but she won't deny that hearing that Clarke doesn't blame her for her choices eases the ache in her chest just a fraction. Clarke understands now that the way she said "you let them burn" had been haunting Lexa as much as the souls of the dead.

* * *

If Clarke is honest with herself, she probably doesn't really want to hear how bad the damage is at TonDC, how many are dead and dying and injured, but she still can't let Lexa do this alone, not when it was her that put Lexa in that impossible situation; not when it was her that provoked the Mount Weather retaliation.

"Anything Lokan says to you tonight is only going to make the pain worse." Clarke sighs. "I don't want you doing this alone."

"I have to do this, Clarke… I have to do this for my people and I have to do this for myself… but I need you to be here when I get back." The last few words are barely above a whisper. Lexa foldes her hand over Clarke's on the table until their fingers are interlaced and pleads for her to understand.

When Lexa says things like that it makes Clarke's chest constrict. Any hurt or anger Clarke had has drained out of her, now there is only concern in worried blue eyes. As much as she doesn't want to, she resigns herself to the fact that Lexa is going to do this alone because she has to. It's not that she doesn't want Clarke there it's that she _can't_ have Clarke there. Clarke saw the way Lexa took in the carnage as they walked through the charred remains of TonDC the night of the missile. The burned bodies, many of whom Lexa knew personally, weighed as heavily on her mind as it did on Clarke. Lexa was just better at hiding the guilt and that is why she needs to go to the meeting alone.

In order to be the unwavering leader she needs to be Lexa has to take her heart out of this to get through the meeting. It's not that Clarke makes her weak it's that Clarke makes her feel everything so intensely that she doesn't trust herself. Lexa doesn't trust herself not to reach for Clarke's hand in the middle of the meeting when Lokan confirms the death toll or when she learns the names of the dead and the dying; people she knew; her people; her friends; her _Tri Kru_. No, seeking comfort in Clarke will have to wait.

Clarke resolves not to make this any harder on her than it already is. She turns fully toward Lexa before draping her arms over the Commander's shoulders and engulfing her in a hug. Lexa's arms wrap fully around Clarke's waist as she buries her face in blonde hair. They cling to each other and Clarke wishes they could just stay like this forever and postpone the inevitable.

It's Lexa that breaks the silence of the moment. "We go to war and we wear the battle scars on our bodies as badges of honour but few, if any, see the scars on our hearts. Sometimes the wounds the world doesn't see are the ones that are most painful. 'Find me when you're wounded' is a promise shared by _Tri Kru_ lovers. We have Healers to mend our bodies but only seeking solace in one who sees your soul can heal your heart… I'll come find you after the meeting if you decide to stay."

It still takes Clarke by surprise, just how how beautiful Trigedakru culture can be. Lexa is asking her to stay tonight because she knows she'll need her strength and her comfort and her support when she returns. She will bring her broken heart back here, back to Clarke, because Clarke is the only one she trusts with it and the only one who can heal it.

It's an admission and a plea and one that Clarke won't let go unheeded. She whispers, "I'll be here" to Lexa just before she kisses her. It gives Lexa the reassurance and the strength she needs to leave; knowing that Clarke will be here when she returns makes all the difference in the world.

"Sleep. I'll be back as soon as I can." Lexa's eyes convey the 'Thank You' that her lips won't allow. She kisses Clarke one final time before setting off in search of Lokan.

"Lexa? Wake me when you get back."

Lexa's almost out the door when Clarke says it but she hears it just fine. She bites her lip because it's ridiculous that of all things, _that_ is the thing that brings her closest to the brink of tears. No matter what happens in the next hour, Clarke will be waiting for her here. She has a safe place to rest her weary head and her weary heart tonight and nothing has ever felt more like an answered prayer. She doesn't trust her voice so she simply nods silently in Clarke's direction before heading off into the darkness.

* * *

**A/N Thank you to all the kind souls that have followed/favourited/reviewed this story. I'm convinced now that people really will read anything ;) Honestly though, thank you for taking this journey with me, you guys give me fluffy Easter bunny feels  
**

**also _faya=fire for anyone that is curious_**


	4. Chapter 4 - Heavy Hearts & Healing Hands

**A/N Chapters 3 &amp; 4 have both been posted today. They were intended to be one chapter but the length got to be a bit much so if you plan to read this one and haven't caught up on Chapter 3 yet then this isn't likely to make much sense :)**

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Lexa knew she shouldn't have moved from the space she had taken up beside the bed. She'd lost track of how long she'd spent perched on the makeshift seat just watching Clarke sleep. In the silence and the darkness, just sitting here watching Clarke breathe gives her a sense of peace and calm that she desperately needs right now. The antique trunk used to house weapons isn't exactly a comfortable seat but Lexa had gone without comfort many times before and being able to watch Clarke as she slept, ever so beautiful, was certainly worth it. She remembered fondly the night they'd spent in the woods after escaping pauna; her propped up against a fallen tree watching over Clarke as she slept until daybreak. Lexa was shocked that Clarke hadn't recognized the love in her eyes when she awoke that morning. Somehow she doesn't think there's much chance of Clarke not noticing this time.

As Clarke had shifted slightly in her sleep Lexa watched as a strand of hair fell over her eyes. She fought it for all of 30 seconds before her hand couldn't keep from reaching out to fix it. She hadn't meant to wake her, she really had planned to let Clarke sleep through the night but when sleepy blue eyes greeted her along with a tiny smile, Lexa realizes that even in sleep, Clarke Griffin is attuned to exactly what she needs and she desperately needs the comfort of that little smile right now.

* * *

Clarke remembers laying down on Lexa's bed but doesn't remember dozing off. Its a testament to how exhausted she really is because normally she would have never fallen asleep under these circumstances. She isn't sure how long she's been out before Lexa wakes her with the soft brush of fingertips along her cheek as she carefully tucks a strand of wayward blonde hair behind her ear.

The tent is darker than it was before. Of the dozen or so candles that were placed throughout the Commander's quarters, now only two remain lit; one at the bedside and another on the map table in the main area. She has no idea what time it is but she hopes they still have a few more hours until dawn.

The soft candlelight flickering over Lexa's face is devastatingly beautiful and Clarke is reminded again of just how precious those moments were when she was able to study Lexa unabashedly as they sat by the fire. Lexa is crouching next to the low rise bed now, her gentle green eyes tired and apologetic. The war paint is gone and the gloves and heavy overcoat the Commander normally wears are also noticeably absent.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you."

"I wanted you to."

"Yes, well, you still need the rest."

As much as it warms her heart to know that Lexa is always trying to take care of her, her concern for Lexa right now outweighs Lexa's concern for her sleeping pattern. She needs to know what happened at the meeting with Lokan.

"What did he say?"

"267."

Lexa's tone is flat and she doesn't meet Clarke's eyes when she says it. The death toll is higher than they thought. It's devastating and it makes Clarke feel a bit numb. They have to just keep reminding themselves that this isn't their fault, this is the mountain men's fault; they're to blame. Lexa knows it too but knowing it and feeling it are two separate things. It's plain to see in Lexa's eyes that all she feels right now is responsible.

"How many were yours?"

"It's hard to know, the fire makes that difficult. 179 _Tri Kru_ were unaccounted for after the missile. 34 Boat People are also assumed dead and they're as good as mine; they're our closes allies."

"I'm so sorry."

Lexa just nods because she doesn't know what else to say. There_ is_ nothing else to say. Clarke knows grief better than anyone, she doesn't have to explain it to her.

* * *

It's late and Clarke can tell that Lexa is drained both emotionally and physically. The hole in her heart that she reserves for the people of TonDC is now gaping and there's only so much pain one person can bear. Talking about it any more tonight isn't what she needs. What Lexa needs most right now is rest.

"Come lay down."

"You should sleep, Clarke."

Lexa starts toward the partition that separates her sleeping area from the rest of the tent as Clarke sits up. A blanket Lexa must have thrown over her while she slept falls around her waist. Lexa is doing what she always does, putting Clarke's welfare above her own. She's more concerned about Clarke than she is about herself but from where Clarke sits, this isn't up for debate.

"And what are you going to do?"

"The scouting mission brought back a new survey of the structures around Philpott Dam. I should look it over before tomorrow."

"It can wait 'til morning, Lexa. You need to rest too. Come to bed."

Lexa doesn't budge from her spot but also doesn't move any closer to the partition so Clarke hopes that's a good sign. It's a start at least.

"I won't sleep if I know you're still up."

It's a sneaky tactic but one Clarke hopes will work. She's banking on Lexa's strong protective instinct to make the call for her. If she really wants what's best for Clarke, what's best for both of them, she'll come to bed. Clark reaches her arm out to where Lexa stands just feet away hoping that a little more prodding will persuade her.

As pale fingers wrap gently around her wrist and then stroke feather light over the soft skin of her palm, Lexa feels the weight of the world begin to lift. In typical Clarke fashion she has given Lexa an ultimatum; choose the living, choose me and come to bed or choose the dead, choose the darkness, choose to keep punishing yourself. Lexa knows what she wants to choose, she's still just not sure she deserves it.

Clarke can see that she's considering it and hopes that Lexa doesn't have much fight left in her tonight. They both need this. She tugs lightly on Lexa's hand as she whispers, "_Beja._"

Lexa looks at Clarke suddenly with wide eyes. She hadn't realized how quickly Clarke had been picking up _Trigedasleng_. Now that Clarke knows how to say 'please', she'll never be able to deny her anything again. She can't help but smile at the thought and as if she can read her mind, Clarke smiles back at her. Clarke knows she's won this battle. It's been a hard night for Lexa but Clarke is the light at the end of the tunnel. Clarke is her solace and her salvation. Somehow Clarke Griffin makes everything better, even on the days when it feels like the world is falling apart.

Lexa lets out a soft breath as she takes two slow steps over to the edge of the bed and bends to untie her boots before toeing them off.

Clarke gathers up the blanket pooled at her waist and shifts back on the bed to accommodate Lexa before laying her own head down again.

Lexa crawls into the space that Clarke has vacated and notices immediately how appreciative her sore muscles are for the soft surface.

As comfortable as she feels with Clarke, this is a new level of intimacy. It's been so long since she's laid in a bed with anyone. She always wants to respect Clarke's boundaries so she's very conscious of maintaining space between them. She lays on her stomach with one hand curled up under her chin. She feels blessed to just be here. The sense of peace that comes simply from staring into Clarke's eyes and listening to her breathe is nothing short of miraculous.

Clarke can't help but notice how small and how young Lexa looks in this moment. For the first time ever, Lexa looks fragile. All Clarke wants to do is reach out and touch her, comfort her, and she knows Lexa wants that too, this is just all so new to them and they're both just unsure how to proceed. Clarke understands that Lexa is trying to be respectful of her space, the same way she was tentative with the first kiss, just always wanting to make sure that Clarke is okay with everything going on between them. And she is. In this moment everything feels more than okay. It feels right.

Unlike the first kiss, Clarke is the one to reach out this time. Clarke props herself on her elbow as her left hand finds its way to the back of Lexa's neck; underneath the web of braids and into the soft hair at the base of her skull. She massages lightly there until Lexa relaxes and her eyes close. Her thumb moves to graze over Lexa's jaw and brushes back and forth over her cheekbone, wiping away the invisible tears that Lexa just can't let fall. Then, because she's been dying to do it since the second she woke up, Clarke leans over and kisses her softly on the mouth. Lexa relaxes into the kiss instantly; more appreciative of the comfort and the outpouring of affection than she can possibly convey. Clarke can feel the hum against her lips as Lexa makes a sound of utter contentment in the back of her throat. It's something between a purr and a whimper. It makes Clarke's heart skip a beat. This really is her life now.

"Promise me. Promise me that you'll always find me when you're wounded. You're not alone anymore. If you hurt, I hurt, and there are days that I'll need you to console me and put me back together so I need you to promise me that you will always let me do the same for you."

Lexa is staring into gorgeous blue eyes that are now swimming with emotion. She has no idea how she's gotten so lucky. She's not certain she deserves this but she has never been more grateful for anything. She never imagined it could be like this, not even with a soul mate. Clarke seems to knows exactly what she needs in each moment and doesn't hesitate to provide it. Clarke's kindness feels so foreign in this place but this is exactly what Clarke meant. This is more than just surviving; _this_ is living.

And for that reason there is only one response, "I promise."

Clarke traces her thumb over Lexa's bottom lip as she blinks back tears and doesn't even try to fight the impulse to kiss her again. Any strength Clarke has she would gladly give up to heal Lexa's wounded heart.

"Good. Now relax and close your eyes and let everything else that happened tonight go." Clarke kisses her on the forehead as she says it and then proceeds to unfurl the blanket so that it covers over both of them. When she lays back down she reaches her hand out over the fur bedding to where Lexa has her hand resting under her chin. She brings Lexa's palm to her lips, and then kisses over each one of her knuckles and then each fingertip and hopes that Lexa can feel the love in each gesture.

Never in her life has Lexa felt doted on in this way. She feels cherished. It's soothing for the soul and Lexa can't help but feel like she's weightless floating in the river. The heaviness of the past few days begins to abate. Despite the darkness that exists inside of her, Clarke still wants her; Clarke still chooses her. She no longer needs to bear the pain alone.

Clarke never does let go of her hand, instead she simply laces their fingers together and settles Lexa's hand close to her chest; close to her heart. It's not long before Lexa's breathing gets shallow as she teeters on the edge of waking and sleeping.

Clarke presses one final kiss to her lips and then her forehead before whispering, "It's okay. I've got you. You're safe. Sleep."

"... don't leave." The request comes out as a barely coherent sleepy mumble and Clarke can't help but smile.

"I won't. I'm not going anywhere, sweetheart."

* * *

Clarke stays awake a while longer despite the fact that her eyelids are heavy and her weary body begs for rest. She doesn't get many opportunities to see the Commander so completely unguarded that she has to seize this opportunity. Her eyes travel over every inch of Lexa's face, trying to commit everything to memory. This still just feels like a dream and she's afraid that she will wake in the morning to find that none of this was real. She hopes she's wrong because she wants nothing more than to spend the rest of her life kissing that little freckle that lies just on the edge of Lexa's top lip. She sighs contentedly. It's no wonder their spirits keep finding each other. One lifetime of this could never be enough.

It isn't until she's sure that Lexa is fast asleep that she whispers the words "I love you" into the darkness surrounding them with more conviction and more truth in her heart than she has ever felt in her life.


End file.
